I HATE THE GIRL WHOSE NAME IS CALLED ESTHER!
i fucking hate you.
Why must be that name and not mine.
Why do you think there is NOT a need to tell me which i think its reasonable to say. Because AT LEAST you told me.
Im your girlfriend that you should be asking.
When im sick and i injured my thumb. Did you even bother to ask me. NO.
When i dont feel like replying you, did you even make an effort to cheer me up. NO. All you know was a short message and try to leave me alone as far as possible.
I did not ask much from you as a girlfriend. From starting till now, ask yourself did you make an effort in this. I know you would say yes by tolerating all my nonsense and preventing quarrels. RIGHT?
I dont feel love at all. I have long forget what is the feeling of being loved.
In the past, you used to say why the need to contact each other.
Now, you initiated it.
You have changed totally.
Subconsciously i know im free person.
In that case, i know i am not your girl next door forever. Because from today, i dont feel im anymore to you.
As what had happened, we are even far apart now.
Now, its brought me even further into thinking about future about us.
About what zu er and me had discussed. Bisexual.
Guys are the same. Their dark side. They can never be your companion. Maybe that they hurt the girls too deeply and they turned to girls. Girls which are more reliable and of course feels more sense of security.
Today its totally caught me unawared. Your reaction and reply. I felt so horrible when i see it. I cant bring this down because i thought you are the person that i can rely on down the road. I never thought you would do that to me. I will never forget it.
I have tolerated everything. I had enough.
Conclusion, you have not made any efforts in this anymore. I doubt i will give as much as what i had. We will just continue till what god had plan.
My heart is pressing on my throat so badly that i couldnt breathe.
I just feel like getting away from you.
I need a hug badly.